dating style

Dating Profile Contest Winners Unveiled!

I held a contest a few weeks ago, along with dating coach Sarah Jones, to review the dating profiles of 3 guys' from our email lists. We had some great entries, and I'm excited to be sharing our commentary with you. Huge props to these guys for entering the contest -- it takes some serious cojones to put yourself out there like this. If you're not on my newsletter list, I highly recommend getting yourself on there, as I frequently hold contests and share commentary in my newsletters that you won't find me posting about anywhere else. Read on for our reviews...Men's Style Advice: Dating ProfilesJulie:These pictures display a great mix of expressions and moods. It shows you as a well-rounded guy, and I like that you included one with more of your body as well as just your face. What would make your profile pix an even more thorough combination, is if instead of using all of them from the same scene, you included pictures from different situations. That gives you a chance to show yourself in various situations where you show up in your life, and how you dress for each one.Overall, you have a friendly, open and smart look, which is appealing. I like that the images aren’t too posed -- you come across as very “real” in them. Great shirt choice, too. The grey picks up nicely on the silver tones in your hair, and the rolled up sleeves make you look approachable.I do have a couple of suggestions for you:

  1. In the two closeup shots, your dark glasses frames obstruct your eyes. Most women find eyes extremely appealing (they’re often the first thing people look at in others’ faces), and with the glasses impeding my view of them, I lose that connection.
  2. There are a few red spots on your face, which can be a little distracting to the viewer. I’d love for you to clear them up so that we can focus on everything else that’s so great about these shots. Here is a blemish patch that I've found works well for my clients, and it's only $5.

Great work!Sarah:Hi there! Excellent job right off the bat talking about her and her values. Intelligence, openness, and playfulness. “Deliriously exciting” — so good! Every woman wants to have that effect on a man. :)I love the “stimulating conversations that would last all night…” — very, very good. See what you did there? You incorporated “stimulating” with “lasting all night.” Very sexy and yet subtle. It is referring to “conversations” after all, ahem (straightens collar). ;)In that second paragraph, you go more into what those initial values you mentioned in her say about your relating with each other and your experience of her as well as what you’re like as a man.Then you segue into who you are, and I love that you’re not overly humble. You’re honestly stating what you enjoy about yourself — so important, as it sets the tone for her to enjoy you too!In the end, go into a little more sensual detail about your favorite kinds of gigs and museums and where you’d like to take HER.Also, maybe replace the last line, “If this sort of man would rock your world, get in touch as I’d love to hear from you,” with something like, “If you’re half as excited reading this as I was writing it, message me. I’d love to hear from you.”It feels more natural and playfully personal.Overall, beautiful job! I can feel your excitement through your thoughtful, visceral words. You took it home for the win with the “stimulating conversations” line. Well done. ;)

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New York Men's Image Consultant: Dating StyleJulie:Your images show a nice mix of expressions which allow your potential dates to see both your serious and fun sides. To add to that, if you’re going to include two pics, I’d love for one of them to show more of your body (either full body or even just the upper half). That way, they can get a sense of your build and how you dress, and therefore determine if you’re a match physically. It also makes it more personal and less like you’re using posed headshots. This is an excellent start!Sarah:Hi there!I like how you share your value of meaningful conversations and discovering new places. It goes harmoniously with your expat detail and love of adventures. Beautiful statement, “I consider myself an energetic person with a stable character.”I can see your character shining through in that very statement! That’s not something you hear often – the combination of those traits — so it’s fresh and sincere.I’d replace the, “Some people would say they don’t understand my sense of humor,” with, “It takes a special jewel of a person to really, fully understand my sense of humor — most likely, a jewel with a deep sense of humor herself who I’d immensely enjoy getting to discover!”This way, you’re acknowledging her, calling her special, and generously / rightfully sharing the attention with her and her sense of humor.In the food and books section, talk about your very favorite Mediterranean dish and your very favorite Asian dish. The sensual specificity of the exact meals shows your own sensuality, that you experience the world in a delicious way — implying that you’ll delight in her sensually as well, and she in you. It brings the conversation there in a subtle way. (Thanks to my friend and colleague Adam Gilad for that special tip as well as the principles of a lot of the advice I’m sharing!)Overall, your personality shines through, and what I suggest is bringing her in more and sharing your sensual side more through describing food and places you enjoy.

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New York Men's Image Consultant: Style Advice for DatingJulie:I love the friendly, engaging smile you have in your profile pic. It makes you come across as easygoing and happy with lots of positive energy. I do have a few suggestions which will help make your images even better:1) I like your breezy haircut, but it would be great if you could trim the hair over your ears (or have your hairdresser do it). This will clean up the look and make you look a little less shaggy.2) It’s a bit hard to tell because the image size is so small, but I’d love for you to consider whitening up your teeth. You have a wonderful smile, and this would freshen it up even more. Crest Whitestrips are a great, affordable option.Overall, like I said, you come across as very appealing. And with a few tweaks, you’ll be even more so.Sarah: Hi, your profile is great. We worked on it together, and when you first sent it to me, it was a little too strong with, “We are going to do xyz,” instead of, “Let’s see about xyz,” which is a more laid-back feel.For everyone else reading, I’ll share what you and I did with your profile so they can benefit too. :)First, you open with the, “You’re the kind of woman who…” frame, which sparks her intrigue and pre-qualifies. The women who respond to, “You’re usually shy, but bubbly and talkative around people who ‘get’ you,” are women who are right down your alley, from Sentence #1.Then you continue to explore her personality, views on life, and values in that first paragraph, allowing her to see herself there.In the second and third paragraphs, you talk about the two of you together on a fun date, piquing her interest further and showing your playful side.Then you mention you as a couple, “if we’re fortunate to get that far with each other,” which acknowledges that you are two people with your own choices and preferences and may or may not be the right fit. This is realistic and the opposite of needy. It sets a strong vibe.Finally, you transition into, “As for me,” and share more about yourself - both your personality and your values so she can really get a sense of you. I remember we changed one sentence in that last paragraph from details all about your multiplayer tactics game “‘baby’ project” and replaced it with, “I’ll spare you the details, but just know - it’s quite exciting though a potentially distant second to sharing a laugh with you. :)”I love that sentence! It shares your real, palpable passion for what you’re creating while also giving her “potential” space to come in and share a laugh with you, bond with you, and be the center of your attention for an evening.So good! All in all, you share what she’s like, what you’re like together, and then what you yourself are like, all in a way that showcases your unique personality in an inviting, laid-back, genuine way.Well done! :)

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For more information on Sarah, including how she might be able to help you, click over to her website Introverted Alpha.Cheers,Julie   

That's What She Said, Vol. 3: Nisha Moodley on How to Be a Man That Makes It Happen

In my third and final interview, Leadership Coach Nisha Moodley explains how attractive "a man that can make it happen" is to her, and how having good style can easily create that. She also gives her take on the difference between confidence and cockiness. Click here or on the image below to hear what Nisha has to say on the matter.Men's Style Advice: What Women LikeAnd if you'd like more style tips and to get your questions answered by me, sign up for my FREE online event "How to Dress for Power and Success" coming up next week.

Are You Second-Glance Worthy?

Men's Dating StyleSure, women are affected by what you’re wearing, but whether or not they swoon over you is about much more than that. Whether you’re new to the dating scene and ready to turn heads, or you’re in a relationship and want to show your partner the best version of yourself, read on for 8 tips on taking your attractiveness to the next level.1) Don’t overdo the cologne. A small spritz on one or both wrists then a dab, wrist to neck, will do the trick. Also, make sure the scent you use works with your body chemistry. You can do this by testing it at the store then seeing if you still like the way it smells on you after half an hour or so. And if you wear aftershave, remember that has a scent too. It should not be overpowering, especially in combination with your cologne.2) Everyone looks better when they smile. In order to make your smile as attractive as possible, it’s imperative that you take good care of your teeth. Have them whitened professionally or use an at-home system. Consider a retainer or Invisalign for crooked teeth.3) Trim the hair around your eyebrows and ears as needed. Keep the rest of your body hair in check, including having the back of your neck cleaned up between haircuts.4) Keep your nails clean and trim. Chewed up fingernails will make you look nervous, and dirty nails are just plain unappetizing.5) Use a tongue cleaner and mouth wash to combat bad breath and carry breath strips or altoids when out on a date.6) Be chivalrous. This one's common sense, but it's often neglected. It's simple: hold the door for her, open her car door, and tell her she looks nice (in a non-slimy way).7) I have a new client who mentioned that he has a flip phone. I’m not saying you need to have the latest and greatest of everything, but make sure you at least stay current with technology. An extremely outdated phone is not a good look!8) Be confident in your appearance. When you look good (and you know it), you'll naturally feel better about yourself. As a result, you'll radiate effortless, positive energy and confidence, which becomes contagious and magnetic, and therefore others will respond to you with the same positivity that you reflect.Do any of these tips resonate? In the comments below, let me know what strategy you’re going to try first and what tips you have to make yourself attractive.Cheers,Julie(Image via Esquire.com.)